REVIEW REQUESTS

We accept review requests, but don't expect your book to be selected for review. We have a lot of books on our plate, and we're pretty fucking picky.

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We read:

• contemporary fantasy

• urban fantasy

• some LGBTQ fiction

• anything featuring kick-ass women, graphic language, and/or graphic violence

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If your book doesn't fall into one of the above categories, don't submit it.

All reviews are brutally honest, full of spoilers, and riddled with swear words. It's just who we are.

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Reviews are posted on this site, Goodreads, and occasionally online retailers. We use a five-star scale. There are no half stars, quarter stars, eighth stars or any other bullshit nonsense involving decimals or fractions. There are five possible fucking stars. The end. Your decoder key to our rating process is as follows:

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⭐️ The book was fucking terrible

⭐️⭐️ The book was fucking bad

⭐️⭐️⭐️ The book was fucking meh

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The book was fucking good

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The book was fucking amazing

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Don't like our review? Fuck off. We don't give a fuck.

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If you want to request a review, fill out this form. We will contact you if we're interested in reading your magum opus. Do not message us after submitting the form to see if we got it. We fucking did, and we're either ignoring you because your book looks boring as fuck or we're deleting your request because you're a douche for hassling us. Don't call us. We'll call you.